New beginnings.

2012 has got off to a rather lovely start books wise. Unable to commit to just one blissful new book on my love of my life kindle I have instead plumped for lots. I have made inroads into them all but am nowhere finishing any of them, striving as I am to read so many at once!

'American Gods' by Neil Gaimen is shaping up very nicely and I am enjoying having him take a more serious and less shallow interaction with his topic matter. For once it is also a lot less of a fantasy novel for while it utterly is so, it is still set loosely within our world, rather than entering another world as 'Neverwhere' and 'Stardust' do. I already like it a great deal more than his other books.

'Death at Pemberley' by 'P.D. James is also most interesting. She is a prolific crime novelist and up until now I had never read her work, preferring my crime to be of the middle-class lacking in blood variety that dear old Agatha Christie was so perfect at. In this book she has taken 'Pride and Prejudice' (definitely in my top ten all time favourite books) and sets her novel 6 or so years after the marriage of Darcy and Elizabeth. The premise still being the solving of a crime, however, for one night Lydia comes screaming into Pemberley claiming Wickham has been murdered. The book so far is just readable but frankly after the first few pages which were a delight, conjuring up as they did the magic of Austen, the style in which James is writing becomes very irritating. She is clearly trying to write in the style of Austen but it lacks the humour and the ease and feels very stilted and heavy-handed. This is a shame as the actual plot is rather good.

'The American Senator' by Anthony Trollope is absolutely marvellous. I have read a great deal of his work but up until now (barring perhaps the excellent 'Lady Anna') I haven't felt he came anywhere near his magnum opus 'The Way We Live Now'. But 'The American Senator' is proving to be jolly good and almost in the same sort of way. There is an excellently scheming heroine who reminds one a good deal of Rebecca Sharp in 'Vanity Fair', a real heroine who as always is a bit of a milk sop, engagements, love interests, battles over ethics, an American who challenges the way of life of the English upper classes... it is a joy to read and so delightfully long that it can accompany me for a good long time.

'Westwood' by Stella Gibbons which is okay... I loved 'Cold Comfort Farm' and adore 'Nightingale Wood' but so far this is not living up to expectations. I was half expecting this for when an author is so universally known only for one book it takes a bit of a leap to bother with the others, but 'Nightingale Wood' I loved so much I thought perhaps her other work had been unfairly looked over. I will stick it out but the pleasure in her words, her usual witty turns of phrase do seem to be lacking.

Also 'Service with a Smile' by the ever charming P.G. Wodehouse. It is his usual best and is a delightful Blandings book. I do love Wodehouse, he really takes a lot of beating and I have never read anything remotely like him in style or content.

The utter joy of the kindle is that one can also download samples of books so for my perusal I have 'A Game of Thrones' by George R.R. Martin and 'Rangarok: The End of the Gods' by A.S. Byatt.

Rather too lilac.

Bridget Jones used to spend all day, or even several days, doing the all important pre-date prep. I must admit admit to following a similar pattern. Today will be filled with a gym visit, nail painting, exfoliating, hair treatments, leg shaving, hair styling, powdering my face and applying my lucky lipstick. All that effort to achieve a look that seems natural yet styled and belies all the hours of effort.

While the rain pours down outside I sit here at my computer waiting for my nails to dry (brand new nail varnish not a great success... it looks a very exciting shade of pale lilac in the bottle but is rather too pale and thick in real life, in future will reserve it for painting stripes or dots onto other colour bases I think, or perhaps for using with 60s themes outfits for parties) watching endless episodes of things on iplayer (very much enjoying Celebrity Apprentice and have rather a crush on the ghastly and cheating Piers Morgan). I am actually rather nervous about tonight... waiting a whole week for a second date is not a winning plan as one forgets all the things they told you on the first date and so I always confuse the things they have said to me with those of other people, particularly since I am messaging about seven different men on Match.com, and then the men seem hurt I have forgotten what they told me previously. Gosh what do I remember about Mr Blonde? He likes skiing... and that is about the sum total...

Not meeting him until 8pm tonight which I do find ever so slightly trying. I am not a late eater, I like to eat at the proper hour of 7pm or half past at a push but having to be nervous all day and then not eat until 8pm at night... Oh well can't be helped, but on the plus side it is because of his working hours so if we do end up in a relationship then at least I won't have to spend long evenings with him but can do my own thing until 8pm every night! Still convinced that boyfriends take up rather an excessive amount of one's time and am planning to be jolly strict and limit access when I get on, or perhaps just enjoy them and them split up as soon as my uni exams start to loom to give myself amply procrastination/revision time.

Immersed in the wonderful world of P.G. Wodehouse once more. One of the things I am most thankful for is that he wrote so very many books as I am still discovering more I need to read after many years as a fan. 'Hot Water' is my current and I am having a tremendous time with it. Such jolly happy books, they always leave a smile on my face and often make my snigger while reading them. I would rather like to be a heroine in  Wodehouse book, the men are always so honest about their love for and admiration of the women they fall for that I think it would be blissful. Added to which most of the heros are lovely Lords so that would be awfully nice as well.

Out last night with a good friend and discussing dating as one does she revealed that when dating her ex she was never the least but nervous before dates, even the first one, and didn't go to great lengths about date prep or thinking of outfits etc. But we ended up agreeing that this was because she had not been terribly fussed about him in general, and it seems only really went out with him from a sense of why not since he has asked me. Sad but there we have it and not unlike the way I felt about Phd Boy. We now both have a similar problem which stems from this in that both her ex and Phd Boy are still getting in touch with us and wanting to meet up... We neither of us were much interested in them but it was nice to date someone and so we went along for the ride, were sweet and nice and pretended to share their interests etc, and then when we both ended things the boys seem to have been left thinking that all was going so well until suddenly it wasn't. In Phd Boy's case he obviously thinks his big screw up ended what was a very promising relationship and so keeps getting in touch and trying to patch things over. But really if I had liked him more what occured would not have mattered and wouldn't have led to a split. Alas the perils of putting on a dating face and only presenting one's best side for they are actually left not truly knowing one and so think one is so much nicer and better than one really is. But then does one truly get to know them as surely we all put on our best outward appearance? But this at least means my nerves are good as if like my friend I wasn't then it would show I wasn't terribly interested in Mr Blonde where as my nerves are shouting out that I am!

But the nerves are also there because meeting in this way means that both of you are actively looking to date and for a relationship, and are so desperate for one that you have gone through the normal ways of doing it and ended up online and paid for the priviledge. So it follows that if your date then doesn't want to see you again there can be no excuse along the lines of they are not ready for a relationship or are too busy etc, but that they just didn't like you... This certainly adds to the pressure, sadly deep down though a self-assured and confident girl I do want to be liked.

Meanwhile the boring chap never did get back in touch and I have several chaps messaging, winking etc online at me. It really is a very long process... I was jolly surprised at just how long it takes before one of them asks to meet you in person but the average seems to be at least eight messages. A wink or at least some profile viewing goes before this and all the while you are weeding out the ones you don't like the sound/look of... It does get tedious, especially as one can usually tell within the first message and profile view whether one is interested... Which does seem to imply it is mostly based on looks which is slightly sad...

Oh what a web we do weave when first we practice to deceive.

After my last post where I bemoaned the unattractiveness of that boring Tory boy and announced that I had bailed out of going on a date with him over the weekend, I have news! I had told him that I was going to spend the whole weekend in the library writing an essay, however, I really just didn't want to see him and so when I was invited to a Tory dinner by friends I happily accepted. Unfortunately it did not occur to me that my turned down date would be there!!!

I know that it being a Tory event and him being a Tory should have given me the hint, but it was a student dinner and he is not a student, so it really did not occur to me that he might turn up too. He did look rather surprised to see me I must admit but we were in a group and neither of us made any mention of his asking me out or why I declined and thankfully we were sitting at different tables for the dinner. I was friendly and nice to him and because the nature of the evening confined all to their respective seats I didn't need to have a proper chat with him. I found it rather amusing if truth be told.

Yesterday on facebook I was chatting to a mutual friend on the perfectly horrid facebook chat that always distracts me from my essay writing (if it makes any different the story of the essay was perfectly true) when he revealed that the boring boy, encouraged by our friend, had not given up hope! Now really, after a non-date, her ignoring your phonecalls (at least 6) and then her rejecting going out with you with an excuse that turns out to be false, how can you possibly still have hope?! I think he is nice but I am totally not interested and so have been trying to let him down gently, clearly a big mistake.

And low and behold last night I got a phonecall (carefully ignored of course - well actually I didn't hear it as I was having dinner with my friend who is involved with the married man) and when I got home there was a facebook message asking me on a proper date. When I say proper I mean proper because he actually told me that while he would never use the phrase 'Would you like to go on a date with me?' that that was his meaning. He phrased it all so incredibly badly, saying thinks like he had decided to ask me in 'a less beating about the bush sort of way' and that he was not going to 'be wet about it any more' and in his P.s. he told me that if I wanted to wash my hair instead that evening that that would be alright... I laughed long and hard which was perhaps a tad cruel as it is always nice to be asked out, but really?! If he had simply asked me to dinner and the theatre which is what the message boiled down to (you had to really boil it down, he uses the English language in a horribly convoluted sort of way, I think he thinks he sounds like Wodehouse but he is far off the mark) then that would have been fine and not at all pathetic.

Poor chap... Gosh but now I have not idea how to reply and his message came to me last night so I have to reply soon... A friend earlier suggested I simply message back that I would indeed be busy washing my hair that evening but I did think that cruel if succinct!

Rather a bust.

Yesterday's date was rather a bust. The Tory boy was more interesting than I thought he would be and turned out to have lots of lovely interests such as collecting vintage champers and being obsessed with Doctor Who, but despite my repeated attempts at book chat he just isn't good at talking about books. I found him to have the same problem as many of my acquaintence: he has read a good deal but when it comes to actually discussing the books he has read he falls way short. So there was a little Wodehousian talk (the only author I could find that we both adored and so I fell back on him a good deal) but mostly we chatted of other matters.

The date lasted into the evening but eventually I just became bored of him and called it a night. Like all good Tory boys he walked me home but I did not invite him in. He clearly likes me a lot and would like to see me again but I will not be agreeing to a proper date for three good reasons.

1. He expected me to pay half during our date! I do not like that sort of thing in the early dating stages and certainly not in the way he did it. He is well off and so it was not about economy but rather seemed to be part of his lets kind of go on a date but not entirely do so strategy to avoid him asking me out in any official way in case I turned him down. We went to three different wine bars and had we taken it in turns to buy drinks I would have objected far less but each time we had to split it. Such behaviour is messy and annoys me. While actually in a relationship I don't mind us taking it in turns to pay for things etc but when a boy asks you on a date I strongly believe he should pay the bill.

2. He is not charming and while I could accept that he was so graceless that on a couple of occasions he was practically insulting. He referred to us having known each other several years ago by exclaiming towards the end of the evening that he had had no idea I was so interesting and knew so much about whatever we were talking about. Ever so subtly screaming out that I had seemed jolly boring and not worth bothering about two years ago. Not a big deal but hardly appealing. He could have erased this by an easy compliment but instead just apologised a fews times which made it rather worse and just led to me remembering the incident.

3. He bored me. My one over-riding rule of dating is never to be with a man who bores me. To his credit Germanicus managed for years to avoid doing so, so it is possible. I find that some men have the ability to bore me within the space of an hour let alone a whole date and anyone who bores is never to be dated again.

So that particular boy is not going to be seen much of again except in group situations. Ironically I think he may have enjoyed our date rather more than I did for I have just been invited to his birthday party!

From old to new.

Met up with Germanicus last night. For the first time we hung out properly as friends, well except for him having his arm around me as we watched movies and my falling asleep on his chest.... So not quite black and white friends territory but still I think of it as good progress for there was no awkward talk of our previous relationship and we just had a relaxed time. I did have rather too much to drink which is perhaps why I kept dozing off event though it wasn't especially late, but I really enjoyed being with him. He seems to be discovering his uber geeky side now that he is single again and plans to start war gaming and playing 40k. I love geekiness but am jolly amused at his only getting into it after we split up. Clearly he is using it as a way to fill his time. What I am v keen on, however, is his holding some diplomacy evenings as I long to play it again. We have only played it once (a wonderful evening of red wine, diplomacy and geeky chatting) and I am desperate to repeat it. I very enarly nearly won against some very experienced players and it made me feel like Lord Vetinari!

Currently trying to compose a reply to that chap who asked me out over facebook. I wonder what I should call him... I am finding it very tricky to come up with names to use for my friends and acquaintences on here... I would call him Tory boy but I know so many of them that that just won't work. In fact I will not be naming him because this chap, nice though he is, is not going to become a fixture in this blog.

Gosh I do feel rather weird about going on a date, especially when I am unattracted to the boy... but I need the practice, we can talk about books which I will adore, and I can pretend that I thought he was asking me to hang out as a friend if neccessary. Actually that last is not entirely true for when I turn down a boy I always like to leave the door slightly open and before Germanicus my line always was 'I really like you but I don't feel I know you well enough... etc' which I found very successful in retaining their uinterest and yet also saying no gently. Now I think a good line would be 'I like you a lot but I have just come out of a long term relationship... etc'.

Oh well at least he reads books! He is particularly interested in classical literature, as in the classics (Livy, Suetonius, Tacitus etc) rather than classic books whichb suits me wonderfully as I am very into the classics, he also loves P.G. Wodehouse and so I anticipate lots of chummy chatting about Blandings and Jeeves and Wooster.

Dating offers.

Is it wrong to go on a date when you have zero interest in the other person? Well zero interest is not quite true; he is really nice and actually quite interesting but it is true that I am not the least bit attracted to him... I plan to accept, it has been too long since I went on a date and we are bound to have some good chat about books. We used to vaguely know each other in a crowd and then I bumped into him again last week after not seeing him for a couple of years. Perhaps because I am now single he seemed a lot more interested in me than I remembered and we had a pretty good time talking about the P.G. Wodehouse, classic literature and graphic novels and their big screen adaptations. He then added me on facebook and today, a week after reconnecting with me, I got a long message asking me if I were free on Saturday afternoon to wander and go to a yummy sounding wine bar.

Admittedly Saturday afternoon is not a usual sort of date time and he did not exactly imply in his message that it is a date but that is certainly what he wants it to evolve into. I found his message jolly sweet although  he seemed to be trying far too hard to write in the manner of a Wodehouse novel in order to impress me. Gosh it is rather exciting to be asked out again after being in a relationship for so long, especially as it sort of happened yesterday as well! A lovely pompous fat chap sort of asked me out yesterday afternoon and was going to later on get my number but his friends were with him later on and he chickened out on getting my number. He added me on facebook last night though so I do hope he asks again!

What I would love is to do lots and lots of dating of lots of boys, stay with none of them for too long and just have a huge amount of fun. Finding another longterm boyfriend is not at the top of my agenda, I plan to have a wonderfully frivilous and decadently exciting single life first!

Bonjour bonheur.

Having rather a jolly time of it today which is due in no small part to having started a new book. Technically it is not new but one I am rereading but I am always so desolate without a book in my hand that being plunged back into one is perfectly heavenly. I am reading 'Bonjour Tristesse' by Francoise Sagan which is a smash book about a young French girl named Cecile and her interventions in the love life of her charismatic and decadent playboy father. It is a wonderful little novella and Sagan was but a mere 18 years of age when she published the book which is quite extraordinary when one considers the complex nature of the character development. The voice of the narrator and main character Cecile, who is the same age as the author when it was written, is marvelously accurate and it is solely on that head that one might guess Sagan to have been so young a literary queen.

I also continue with my Blandings novels but as they really are very similar and all in the same style one also needs at least one other book on the go. Indeed I mostly reserve my P.G Wodehouses to be read with meals and to take around with me in the bag for spot of reading on trains and so on. One needs to very careful with them though for a often find myself giggling aloud as I read them and have attracted some interested looks!

Not only an I great devourer of the written word but I adore and am utterly and completely dependant on audiobooks. Currently my ears are enjoying 'Diary of a Nobody' by the bros Grossmith. It is one of my all time favourite books and I just can't listen to it too often. I have the Martin Jarvis version on my ipod and he is the perfect compliment to Pooter. I was first introduced to the brilliant and second to none audiobook work of Jarvis as a child when I heard his versions of the 'Just William' books which incidentally I think are some of the very best childrens books ever, they are right up there with 'The Wind in the Willows', 'Winnie the Pooh' and my personal favourite 'The Hobbit'. Jarvis is masterful at humour in his voice acting and I can't recommend him strongly enough. Selecting audiobooks to listen to is a fine art for one is not merely looking for a ideal book but a book ideal for listening to (they are very much not one and the same, I once owned 'The Wings of the Dove' as audio and it was truly dreadful) and also the perfect narrator for that work. I tend to avoid dramatisations as I find they have changed lots of things about the book to made it right for dramatisation and almost always severely abridged it, although an exception to that rule is the terrific BBC dramatisation of 'Lord of the Rings' which includes lots of splendid music written specially for Middle Earth.

I have a huge collection of audiobooks and my hot tips are 'Paul Temple' - but only the Peter Coke versions which are utterly splendid, Agatha Christie Poirot or Miss Marple books - Hugh Fraser and Joan Hickson versions are particularly good and Terry Pratchett novels - only the Tony Robinson versions. I normally always go for the unabridged version and my one exception to that rule is for the Tony Robinson Terry Prachett audiobooks. They are heavily abridged but it is skillfully done and Tony Robinson is such a perfect choice as the voices of the characters that it is more than made up for. He is to the Discworld what Martin Jarvis is to 'Just William'.

Dinner and a movie.

I am meeting Germanicus later for dinner and a movie. Gosh it does rather sound like a date when one puts it like that but I fully intend to meet purely as friends. I feel a bit nervous about it but mostly just calm and I have put a lot of effort into putting together an outfit and using makeup that looks casual but terrific at the same time. It will be lovely to hang out and talk to him again, I still love talking to him.

Started  'Pigeon Pie' by Nancy Mitford but it is rubbish! I was so shocked as I adore all her other books but this one stinks! It is full of characters that appear in her later books in a better written form and this totally spoils it for me. Currently deciding which book to read next and so am continuing with some lovely Blandings books as I do so.

Went to see Scott Pilgrim vs the World yesterday and thought it jolly good. Loved all the in referrences to American tv shows, comics and video games, particularly the Seineld jokes.

Going to have a big glass of wine with my book in preparation for tonight, perhaps I am a bit more nervous than I care to admit!

Having a perfectly charming Sunday filled with good food, the Sunday Times and a Blandings P.G. Wodehouse. I adore Blandings and it always makes the world seem a better and happier place. In my mind I am still alternating between wanting Germanicus back and deciding that I am better off single. Recently I have been picturing what it might be to find someone else and I am growing rather fond of the idea. I long to find a man I can discuss books with, enjoy good food and wine and perhaps go to the opera with also. It is quite exciting thinking about the marvelous men I might meet and date... It being a long and pretty boring summer I expect I have allowed myself to dwell on memories of Germanicus and day dreams about us reuniting. But more and more I am getting myself used to the idea of a fun dating life with other men.

I feel I need to find a book I can really sink my teeth into and become totally absorbed by. But it is so hard to find such a treasure. The last book I read like that was 'War and Peace' but the one that most enthralled me was 'Nineteen Eighty-Four'. I got so sucked into it that for months afterwards I could remember the feel of it in my mind. It was the love story in it that captivated me most, especially the haunting little poem at the end. I find a large proportion of my life is spent in search of the perfect book or in a state of abject mourning because I have just finished one.