Monday, 29 November 2010

Oh the mystery that is man.

I have been horribly busy these last few weeks and so have been jolly lousy at updating this lovely blog. Actually still stuck in the depths of essays and exams but gosh do I need a break so I thought what better than to do a spot of blogging. Nothing tremendously ground breaking has happened these last few essay crammed weeks except that for some reason my fat tory chum has radically changed his attitude towards me...

We were getting along together so well and I really believed he had given in and just wanted to be friends. He is shockingly bad at attending lectures where as I am rather a swot about that sort of thing and go to them all, even if I do then sleep through them, so I didn't see very much of him for a while and still am not seeing him at all often. But over the last two weeks or so when we did happen to bump into each other his manner was very different indeed. Not exactly cold but researved and uninviting and distinctly different to the fun chummyness of before. Nothing has changed as far as I am am concerned and nothing has happened to make things different. I had said absolutely nothing to his disfavour behind his back, he had not asked me out and been rejected, I havent started going out with anyone else or told him that I rather fancy one of his friends (a yummy almost pretty boy who sadly has a girlfriend). Mystifying. The only thing I can come up with is that he made up his own mind that I don't find him attractive or, sadly more likely, is that one of friends said something cruel, probably along the lines of "Why are you following her around like that, she is never going to go out with you". Too cruel but quite likely, his friends being fab but a little inclined to that sort of hardness.

Also weeks and weeks ago, at the same tory dinner that I discovered the wet fish who I had turned down a date with for the same night, I was asked by one of my fat chum's friends what there was between us. I, of course, said we were friends and what fun he was. The chap asked again in a slightly different way and was assured that we were just good friends. I rather wonder now if he had been asked to find out from me what my feelings were and now my poor friend is feeling rebuffed. I must say though he is being jolly silly about it. We were at a party thrown by mutual friends over the weekend and he completely ignored me... but one of his lovely friends decidedly took a shine to me and very sweetly walked me home (sadly nothing doing as he is even more corpulent than the other though rather a honey).

I have started reading two new books recently; 'The Kreutzer Sonata' by Leo Tolstoy and 'Interview with a Vampire' by Anne Rice. My reading really does suffer hugely during term time but it is blissful to be reading brand new books once again. The former is most intriguing and so enjoyable in a deliciously thought provoking way. I adore the style with which Tolstoy wrote, the words slip over the eye like butter. While the latter book I have heard of and always vaguely meant to read, plus everyone but me seems to be buying into all this vampire stuff so I thought I should give it a shot.

Monday, 8 November 2010

Oh what a web we do weave when first we practice to deceive.

After my last post where I bemoaned the unattractiveness of that boring Tory boy and announced that I had bailed out of going on a date with him over the weekend, I have news! I had told him that I was going to spend the whole weekend in the library writing an essay, however, I really just didn't want to see him and so when I was invited to a Tory dinner by friends I happily accepted. Unfortunately it did not occur to me that my turned down date would be there!!!

I know that it being a Tory event and him being a Tory should have given me the hint, but it was a student dinner and he is not a student, so it really did not occur to me that he might turn up too. He did look rather surprised to see me I must admit but we were in a group and neither of us made any mention of his asking me out or why I declined and thankfully we were sitting at different tables for the dinner. I was friendly and nice to him and because the nature of the evening confined all to their respective seats I didn't need to have a proper chat with him. I found it rather amusing if truth be told.

Yesterday on facebook I was chatting to a mutual friend on the perfectly horrid facebook chat that always distracts me from my essay writing (if it makes any different the story of the essay was perfectly true) when he revealed that the boring boy, encouraged by our friend, had not given up hope! Now really, after a non-date, her ignoring your phonecalls (at least 6) and then her rejecting going out with you with an excuse that turns out to be false, how can you possibly still have hope?! I think he is nice but I am totally not interested and so have been trying to let him down gently, clearly a big mistake.

And low and behold last night I got a phonecall (carefully ignored of course - well actually I didn't hear it as I was having dinner with my friend who is involved with the married man) and when I got home there was a facebook message asking me on a proper date. When I say proper I mean proper because he actually told me that while he would never use the phrase 'Would you like to go on a date with me?' that that was his meaning. He phrased it all so incredibly badly, saying thinks like he had decided to ask me in 'a less beating about the bush sort of way' and that he was not going to 'be wet about it any more' and in his P.s. he told me that if I wanted to wash my hair instead that evening that that would be alright... I laughed long and hard which was perhaps a tad cruel as it is always nice to be asked out, but really?! If he had simply asked me to dinner and the theatre which is what the message boiled down to (you had to really boil it down, he uses the English language in a horribly convoluted sort of way, I think he thinks he sounds like Wodehouse but he is far off the mark) then that would have been fine and not at all pathetic.

Poor chap... Gosh but now I have not idea how to reply and his message came to me last night so I have to reply soon... A friend earlier suggested I simply message back that I would indeed be busy washing my hair that evening but I did think that cruel if succinct!

Thursday, 4 November 2010

The power of physical attraction.

Stuck deep in essay season which I enjoy complaining about very much indeed. In fact although it is jolly hard work and my essay topics seem to be incredibly difficult and insurmountable I am really loving being busy and constantly on the move. Even when I allow myself breaks they are glorious and sleepy and highly enjoyable in contrast to the indignities of essay writing. The only downside is that as I have so much reading of textbooks to do for them that I am shamelessly neglecting the reading of fiction, bar the odd forage into a Nancy Mitford and my wonderful discworld audiobooks (just bought Monstrous Regiment from itunes).

That boring Tory boy did indeed ask me out again, for this Saturday night, but I have turned him down and pleaded my latest essay as an excuse. I truly find him physically repulsive... I feel rather bad about that as he is not particularly unattractive: normal height, dresses quite well, unremarkable looks but nothing hideous and so on. But for some reason the very idea of kissing him (well kissing I could probably manage but certainly the notion of anything else) makes me feel rather disgusted... I would so much rather kiss my chubby lecture buddy who I can perfectly well see is a lot less attractive... most odd. Like most of us I am vain and so I am very pleased he wants to go out with me, but all the same I think I would probably rather he didn't ask me again. Being physically attracted to someone is so important, I am not prepared to sacrifice something like that just to get a date.

Meeting up with a couple of good friends tonight, the one with the married chap and our mutual male friend. Things became weird between myself and my male friend after I split up with my horrid ex-boyfriend. He started to behave slightly differently and I was a little freaked out by it although thankfully he didn't do anything and clearly because of how he felt he avoided me for a few months after that. I like my male friends to be nice and safe, to know for sure that no matter how drunk we get nothing will happen between us. My flatmate, until her boyfriend, always seemed to end up sleeping with or kissing her male friends when very drunk. These incidents were almost always one offs and left her in uncomfortable, I like him but what does he feel and we are friends and this is very messy territory which I personally wish to avoid. Anyway he and I seem to be pretty much back to where we were before.

This is the day on which my other friend sees her married chap. She is meeting us for drinks and dinner and then going to see him. I wish she would change her mind and not meet up with him. She is being messed about by him and no matter how hard it is for her now it will be so much worse when they eventually have to stop seeing each other, and she will clearly be the one to have to end it some day which will be dreadful for her, he won't even have the guts to do that. She does still have her actual boyfriend but from what she told me earlier in the week when we met for lunch she seems to be tiring of him, and were they to finish I am sure she would start up a proper affair again with the married man. I don't want her to get hurt and I can see her gliding along towards a horrid breakup. I really need to come up with literary names for her and my flatmate and others, especially now I have named Moist... I will consider naming them after discworld characters but am concerned that that could spoil the books for me!