Tuesday, 16 August 2011

Rather too lilac.

Bridget Jones used to spend all day, or even several days, doing the all important pre-date prep. I must admit admit to following a similar pattern. Today will be filled with a gym visit, nail painting, exfoliating, hair treatments, leg shaving, hair styling, powdering my face and applying my lucky lipstick. All that effort to achieve a look that seems natural yet styled and belies all the hours of effort.

While the rain pours down outside I sit here at my computer waiting for my nails to dry (brand new nail varnish not a great success... it looks a very exciting shade of pale lilac in the bottle but is rather too pale and thick in real life, in future will reserve it for painting stripes or dots onto other colour bases I think, or perhaps for using with 60s themes outfits for parties) watching endless episodes of things on iplayer (very much enjoying Celebrity Apprentice and have rather a crush on the ghastly and cheating Piers Morgan). I am actually rather nervous about tonight... waiting a whole week for a second date is not a winning plan as one forgets all the things they told you on the first date and so I always confuse the things they have said to me with those of other people, particularly since I am messaging about seven different men on Match.com, and then the men seem hurt I have forgotten what they told me previously. Gosh what do I remember about Mr Blonde? He likes skiing... and that is about the sum total...

Not meeting him until 8pm tonight which I do find ever so slightly trying. I am not a late eater, I like to eat at the proper hour of 7pm or half past at a push but having to be nervous all day and then not eat until 8pm at night... Oh well can't be helped, but on the plus side it is because of his working hours so if we do end up in a relationship then at least I won't have to spend long evenings with him but can do my own thing until 8pm every night! Still convinced that boyfriends take up rather an excessive amount of one's time and am planning to be jolly strict and limit access when I get on, or perhaps just enjoy them and them split up as soon as my uni exams start to loom to give myself amply procrastination/revision time.

Immersed in the wonderful world of P.G. Wodehouse once more. One of the things I am most thankful for is that he wrote so very many books as I am still discovering more I need to read after many years as a fan. 'Hot Water' is my current and I am having a tremendous time with it. Such jolly happy books, they always leave a smile on my face and often make my snigger while reading them. I would rather like to be a heroine in  Wodehouse book, the men are always so honest about their love for and admiration of the women they fall for that I think it would be blissful. Added to which most of the heros are lovely Lords so that would be awfully nice as well.

Out last night with a good friend and discussing dating as one does she revealed that when dating her ex she was never the least but nervous before dates, even the first one, and didn't go to great lengths about date prep or thinking of outfits etc. But we ended up agreeing that this was because she had not been terribly fussed about him in general, and it seems only really went out with him from a sense of why not since he has asked me. Sad but there we have it and not unlike the way I felt about Phd Boy. We now both have a similar problem which stems from this in that both her ex and Phd Boy are still getting in touch with us and wanting to meet up... We neither of us were much interested in them but it was nice to date someone and so we went along for the ride, were sweet and nice and pretended to share their interests etc, and then when we both ended things the boys seem to have been left thinking that all was going so well until suddenly it wasn't. In Phd Boy's case he obviously thinks his big screw up ended what was a very promising relationship and so keeps getting in touch and trying to patch things over. But really if I had liked him more what occured would not have mattered and wouldn't have led to a split. Alas the perils of putting on a dating face and only presenting one's best side for they are actually left not truly knowing one and so think one is so much nicer and better than one really is. But then does one truly get to know them as surely we all put on our best outward appearance? But this at least means my nerves are good as if like my friend I wasn't then it would show I wasn't terribly interested in Mr Blonde where as my nerves are shouting out that I am!

But the nerves are also there because meeting in this way means that both of you are actively looking to date and for a relationship, and are so desperate for one that you have gone through the normal ways of doing it and ended up online and paid for the priviledge. So it follows that if your date then doesn't want to see you again there can be no excuse along the lines of they are not ready for a relationship or are too busy etc, but that they just didn't like you... This certainly adds to the pressure, sadly deep down though a self-assured and confident girl I do want to be liked.

Meanwhile the boring chap never did get back in touch and I have several chaps messaging, winking etc online at me. It really is a very long process... I was jolly surprised at just how long it takes before one of them asks to meet you in person but the average seems to be at least eight messages. A wink or at least some profile viewing goes before this and all the while you are weeding out the ones you don't like the sound/look of... It does get tedious, especially as one can usually tell within the first message and profile view whether one is interested... Which does seem to imply it is mostly based on looks which is slightly sad...

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