Wednesday, 10 August 2011

Introducing Mr Blonde?

So two dates in two days, not a bad start to the week! Monday night was date number one:

Was jolly nervous and surprisingly anxious about it, mostly I think simply due to the bad experience of the aborted date the day before. I had arranged to meet him in a rather nice (but not off-puttingly so or too expensive) cocktail bar. It was a beautiful summer evening as I strolled over, compulsively checking that my skirt was not in some way tucked into my tights or that I had managed to get lipstick on my teeth. I turned up on time to find him inside waiting for me. I was struck by how good looking he was at once. Sandy blonde hair and really very attractive, also clean shaven which I much prefer but which was new since his profile pictures were taken. We shook hands and he went to get me a glass of wine.

Things went well and I felt relaxed and at ease from the start. We chatted about books to begin with but soon moved on to discuss him... Sadly he turned out to be one of those boys who love to talk about themselves, and even worse who talked quite slowly. The worst possible combination! I would try and seem interested and so ask him a question and he would then consider it for a few moments before launching into a long winded answer that would take many minutes to be over. A pause would then fall as I would wait to see if he was going to ask me anything, but no of course he wouldn't so to fill in the conversation I would ask him something else and so on and on and on and on. Additionally he managed to make just one pint last two long hours and when he originally bought me a glass of wine I was rather amused to see that his cheapskint instinct had kicked in and he had only got me a small! Telling little detail!

After almost two hours I thought him perfectly nice but oh so very dull. He went to the loo and I decided that when he came back if instead of sitting down he asked me if I would like another drink then I would agree and stay, but that if he just came and sat back down I would make my excuses and leave. He returned and sat down. I left. Unimpressed. Interestingly he had been nothing like I imagined from both his profile and from his messages. He had come across as cocky and charming in his messaging and a bit ruffled and not so hot in his pictures. Where as in person he was well groomed and much more attractive but ponderously boring.

Date number two was last night and really I couldn't be bothered. I was so unexcited that I almost called it off several times. This was not helped by the fact that his profile was almost empty and he had only uploaded one picture so I knew very little about him apart from the fact that he has blonde hair. But in the end I thought it would be good for me and so I put on a pretty little dress and headed out. He was waiting for me by the door and I was immediately struck by how attractive and blonde he was, as well as how smartly he was dressed (which I always appreciate). His profile picture really hadn't done him justice.

He got us drinks (buying me a large glass of wine as all proper boys do!) and we sat down and chatted. He was lively, clever and articulate and I enjoyed talking to him very much indeed. He impressed me with his interests, had a lovely smile and was jolly to be with. He bought us a second round of drinks (I did offer but he insisted which I thought splendid) and I got the third. We had a splendid evening and he eventually dropped me off at my front door in a taxi on his way back. The only awkward moment was when he went to kiss me goodnight in the back of the taxi - I was not expecting this, it was very dark and it turned into a kind of peck on the cheek vaguely near the mouth, then when I leant over to kiss him back on the cheek that didn't quite work either... but at least it showed interest on both sides.

I am definitely the type of girl who likes to be wined and dined and rather expects men to do the whole mannerly thing of holding doors open, but also I must admit I expect them to pay for the majority of dates, certainly at the beginning of a relationship. I did not take to date number one anyway but I really didn't like his cheapskate attitude where as lovely date number two seemed to get the balance just right. He is older than me and has a good strong career while I am but a poor student, so he is of course well placed to be able to do this but I still appreciate the fact that he did. It was also jolly good as a sign that it was a proper date and that he was interested in me and perhaps trying to impress me.

There was vague but promising mention of meeting in the future and I have rather been watching my phone all day but so far nothing... Must play it cool though and will of course wait to see if Mr Blonde gets in touch. Oh gosh I do like him a lot and am very pleased indeed by how last night went. Still working away at the online dating, and it really is work. It takes so much effort and time it is unreal! You need to find men you like the look of and sound, then 'wink' at them or message them and then wait for replies. Then all the messaging back and forth takes a long time and that first message to them is a nightmare to write... got several chaps on the go and there are two in particular that I like the look of and I am hoping will ask to meet me soon. Then of course one finds that no-one is exactly how they seem online. Take me two recent dates: the first was slightly better looking but character wise totally different to the impression I had developed, while date two Mr Blonde had given away very little online and definitely hadn't done himself justice where as in real life he is splendid both to look at and to talk to (and such lovely arm muscles though he is a tad on the short side...).


  1. You EXPECT your date to pay for dinner on dates? In this age where men and women are paid equally, what makes women expect to be bought dinner? Also, what if the small glass of wine was due to it being a good wine and more expensive than a large glass of house wine?

    I despair to think that you are whom the Suffragettes fought for.

  2. Oh please! Feminism is about equal opportunities, where as girls enjoying men paying for drinks and dinner on dates is merely about them being pleased because it shows male interest in them. I happen to be very proud of the Suffragettes and what they fought for, and believe that petty little things like men holding doors open for women or buying them drinks in no way diminishes what they fought for!

    I like being treated on dates, who doesn't. It is an excellent indication the men are interested in going out with me. Additionally the men I date seem to be older and with proper careers, unlike myself who is but a poor student, so I think it not unnatural that they tend to pay when we go out.

  3. Interesting. So part of equal opportunity does not equate to paying your own way on a date according to you. Rather convenient.

    A man can signify being interested in you by finding your conversation fascinating, or your personality intriguing. However, you're filtering men who cannot afford to pay for you which could explain why you keep getting stuck with men who're boring, or not really interested in you for nought but a shag.

    Let's see if we can break down someone's income.

    Say their "proper career" earns them £35,000 a year which works out to roughly £2000 a month after tax.

    Rent, council tax, utility bills, transport costs, hobbies and food could easily mean he's left with £700 a month. Not uncommon to have a combined rent and council tax bill of over a £1000 in most parts of London if you want to live centrally and don't want to live in a shithole.

    Say he's not a spendthrift and saves £500 a month for the deposit on a house. Or maybe he was a spendthrift and has to service debt, or a horrible affliction for first editions of Mark Twain to the tune of £500 a month. This now leaves £200.

    A night out with his mates could easily wipe out half that, leaving just £100 for sundry expenses, part of which needs to pay for your date. So this man can now only afford to date you once a month. He hopefully expects that you will show fairness and split the bill, which you, due to your (false) expectation of men with proper careers do not do. He has had a lovely night, but your poor manners or stinginess, or ridiculous expectation of men means he feels slighted. Consequently, no second date.

    Also, I see you're going on repeat dates with men whom you are not serious about, thus wasting their money, and your time. Ask yourself if this is fair.

    Evaluate yourself and figure out if you're dating these men because you're looking for a distraction from your life, or if you're doing it to find someone worth being with. Given the description of your blog, it seems all you're interested in is comparing these men (unfairly and futilely) to an ex you've put on a pedestal while stinging their wallets in the process.

    They're only wasting their money, and from the looks of it, they've got money to waste, but you're wasting time that you probably need to spend on bettering yourself.