Monday, 30 August 2010

Passion... or the world well lost for love.

As I read Therese Raquin earlier today (about 3/4 of the way through and loving it, though I do think the translator has over used the word egotism) I got to thinking a lot about passion. One of the reasons Germanicus and I split was that I considered him to lack passion. He never seemed to be passionately in love with me, was never carried away on the wings of love to do anything remotely wild and exciting in the heat of the moment and always refused to kiss me in public. As regards the latter I also consider making out in certain public places inappropriate but I was not asking for wild kissing in an expensive restaurant but merely to kiss my lover on a park bench or as we strolled through moonlit streets at night and so on. He lacked passion for me in general and although he did love me I found that love became a little muted with the passion absent.

In Therese Raquin the lovers get so carried away by passion that they commit murder (I am not really giving anything away here as unfortunately nowadays book covers have the perfectly horrid way of telling you the whole plot). I can't imagine Germanicus so much as insulting someone let along carrying out an act of violence due to passion. Perhaps he was a bit too staid for me? And yet I don't actually want a wild passion crazed man, not really my style at all, rather I want someone who is passionate in love and lust. Germanicus, oh Germanicus... you are not one who considers that the world would be well lost for love.

While discussing the matter over with a friend recently I commented on his lack of passion and there was a little pause in the conversation as she clearly prepared herself to say something she had been wanting to tell me, she replied to the effect that it was much better to have ended the relationship for to be with someone who doesn't care madly for one is not enough and that I deserved more. My other close friend and flatmate (should I give close friends names out of literature as well since I will be bound to mention them sometimes... I shall but will take some time to think of appropriate ones ) has also on many occasions since the split implied strongly that it is for the best, and my mother has also. They none of them seem to have anything to say against Germanicus, simply that the split was a good idea. In fact they have all been so adament on that point that I have only told my flatmate and no one else that I have met up with him since splitting.

Love should be passion filled and have its crazy wonderous moments that carry you away. Unfortunately Therese Raquin is not a great example of this for although they definately are carried away by their passion it does not benefit them in the end and instead destroys them. However, as I am not looking for a lover to be so wild about me that he has to murder someone, I think I can still quite safely look for passion!

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