A fool for love.

Recently I have  taken to thinking of my ex-boyfriend a good deal and about our relationship. I can't yet write that I forgive him or that I wouldn't care if I suddenly saw him again but I am a lot happier and calmer than when we were together latterly. I read a very interesting article in The Times about a study conducted over a few years whereby people kept diaries detailing their sex lives and how they felt about the amount, frequency, etc of it all. My sex life with Germanicus almost always left me wanting more...

I am now, some months further on, able to admit that he is a good person but he was never terrific in bed. Yes there were some good nights under the sheets but then we were together for years and so you would hope that there were some good nights. But mostly he was very boring in bed. I tried lots of different things to spice up our sex life: candles, incense, massage bars, different places, positions, sex books and so on and on and on and on. Those things did all help but mostly they would just help the first time or two and then he would revert back to his normal, and dreadfully boring, routine.

In The Times article there was one case in particular that hit me hard and that was of a lady in her fifties who was looking back on how her marriage first started out. She commented that when she and her husband were in the early years of their relationship they couldn't get enough of each other and had sex every opportunity they had... I would love to say that I have experience that with someone but the truth is I haven't and would like to. With Germanicus I certainly felt that way but sadly he wasn't keen on terribly frequent even in the very early days and certainly not later on either.

At the time I was forgiving and later as I thought we would be together for ever I was a little sad, but now I am anticipatory and excited as I hope to go out with someone who feels that way about me and who I feel that way about also. There are currently four chaps I rather like and so we shall see if anything is soon afoot, I do hope so! Valentines is only a week away but I have already planned a night of champagne with the friend who is still (almost 5 weeks!) waiting to hear from her married lover and lots of jolly anti-valentines chatting.