Ode to Becky Sharp.

I want to become Becky Sharp. She is completely independent, strong, capable, knows what she wants and goes for it, brave, beautiful, cunning and never falls in love or is a slave to love in any way. 'Vanity Fair' by William Makepeace Thackeray has been my favourite book of all time since I read it at the tender age of 13. I have ever since admired and adored its anti-heroine Miss Sharp who used her wits and her cunning to get what she wanted. Admittedly she is ruthless, cold and even heartless upon occasion but rarely without cause. She rose from nothing and created several lives for herself as she rose upwards in society. I always thought Thackeray might have allowed her to rise again after her tremendous fall from grace at the end but instead he gave the mld mannered and totally characterless milksop Amelia the more rounded ending. Although even there he was not above sticking the thorn in as he described her final family setup.

I met Germanicus for lunch a few hours ago and it was monstrous. I feel more confused than ever. I don't know what I want but I suspect it is him and that suspicion does not please me. I need to be more like Becky and simply pursue a nice chap who will take me out for lots of dinners rather than allow myself to be hung up over my ex. Onwards brave girl and find yourself another beau! I am even considering going on another date with that boring boy... I am attending a flat-warming party tonight so I think I will wait and see if I meet someone else before getting in touch with that chap again!

Meanwhile one of my close friends is clearly falling for her ex-lover the married man and my flatmate spends every single evening and night with her boyfriend. She met him a grand total of three weeks ago today and they have literally been inseperable ever since. I haven't met him yet but he sounds very nice though he is clearly a serial relationshipper and after only three weeks is already trying to make their relationship all official and proper girlfriend/boyfriendy. This wouldn't matter much with most girls but my flatmate has never had a proper relationship before (a good number of dates and a whole bunch of one night stands) and seems to be sending him commitment freak signs while he sends in love signs!